INCH TWO
(... or half inch)



Although French Brothers is a family-based company, we are constantly on the look-out for new staff to join us. Maybe, however, the personnel manager is a little harsh with his employee assessments? ...



			
Employee Appraisals

JON FRENCH - PERSONNEL MANAGER
  • Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig
  • His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity
  • I would not allow this employee to breed
  • This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't-be
  • Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
  • When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet
  • He would be out of his depth in a car-park puddle
  • This young lady has delusions of adequacy
  • He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them
  • This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot
  • This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better
  • Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together
  • A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus
  • He would argue with a signpost
  • He brings a lot of joy ... whenever he leaves the room
  • When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell
  • If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one
  • A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on
  • A prime candidate for natural deselection
  • Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming
  • Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it
  • If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week
  • If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change
  • It's hard to believe that he beat a million other sperm
  • Some drink from the fountain of knowledge. He only gargled
  • He's so dense, light bends round him
  • If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate
  • He donated his body to science before he'd done using it
  • One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests
  • The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead

INCH ONE INCH THREE INCH FOUR INCH FIVE

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Copyright Notice:

As the above comments are being shamelessly recycled from various doubtful "industrial myth" sources, any copyright notice we might wish to add, would serve only to add defamation to injury ... not to mention resulting in us being sued for the "half inch"