Employee Appraisals
JON FRENCH - PERSONNEL MANAGER
- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and
has started to dig
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity
- I would not allow this employee to breed
- This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of
a definite won't-be
- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like
a rat in a trap
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change
feet
- He would be out of his depth in a car-park puddle
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy
- He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them
- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot
- This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better
- Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
together
- A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus
- He would argue with a signpost
- He brings a lot of joy ... whenever he leaves the room
- When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell
- If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other
one
- A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on
- A prime candidate for natural deselection
- Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming
- Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for
it
- If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week
- If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change
- It's hard to believe that he beat a million other sperm
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge. He only gargled
- He's so dense, light bends round him
- If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate
- He donated his body to science before he'd done using it
- One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests
- The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead
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INCH ONE