INCH THREE



JON'S TOOLBOX



HAMMER
- Originally a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of Divining Rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object you were trying to hit

UTILITY KNIFE - Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard boxes delivered to your front door, usually marked URGENT or FRAGILE. Works particularly well on boxes containing covertible tops, gasket sets etc

ELECTRIC DRILL
- Normally used to spin pop rivets in their holes, this tool is also used for drilling rollbar mounting holes in the floor of sports cars just above the brake line which goes to the rear axle

VICE GRIPS - Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand

HACKSAW - One of the family of cutting tools built on the Ouija Board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, erratic and unpredictable motion. Like real life, the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal everything turns out

DRILL PRESS - A tall machine useful for suddenly grabbing flat metal bar stock out of your hand so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the workshop, splattering it against the Rolling Stones poster above the bench grinder

WIRE WHEEL - Cleans rust off old bolts, then throws them somewhere under the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar callouses in less time than it takes to say "Eric Clapton"


INCH ONE INCH TWO INCH FOUR INCH FIVE

BACK SITE INDEX


Copyright Notice: This list has probably appeared in many other places - it came to our attention on the Stationary Engine Mailing List. Apologies to any parties who may be offended by its content ;-)